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Inside this article, I share five ways perfectionism creeps into our minds and how we can take those thoughts and turn them into self-compassion practices. Even if you currently have a perfectionist mindset, get ready to leave this article more productive and purposeful!
Perfectionist Mindset
Today I want to dive into a subject not presented enough, and that’s our desire as an online business owner to strive for perfection. Many people even brag about being a perfectionist.
While I jokingly tell my clients I don’t half-ass anything when it comes to projects – that doesn’t mean I will ever come close to being perfect. What it does mean is I will always give my best effort. Period.
What is perfectionism?
Jill Weber says, “Perfectionism is a quicksand that oftentimes keeps people stuck, unable to pull out and yet unhappy with where they stand.”
So before we dive in, I want you to come clean with ways you’ve already this week chased perfect when it comes to your business.
Maybe you had a great caption idea for a post but started to write it out, and it wasn’t good enough, so you set it aside and haven’t touched it since.
Or maybe you were going to take a few new lifestyle shots in your office, but you haven’t washed your hair in three days, so you’ll wait till next week to get it done. Plus, you still haven’t ordered that phone stand that’s been sitting in your Amazon cart.
Or maybe you want to grow your video presence with reels, but the last time you tried, you messed up so many times you table that goal for next month.
What’s happening is that every new idea or challenge you encounter is instantly followed by a mental to-do list and obsessive dissection of how to get it just right.
Instead of doing your best and performing the task, you are stuck in indecisiveness about what you should accomplish, what you should produce, what you should look like, act like, live like, etc.
Thus you keep allowing perfectionism to keep you stuck and stunt your growth.
move toward more self-compassion
So enough of that – let’s move away from perfectionism and toward more self-compassion.
And when I mean self-compassion, I don’t want you to think that you should get away with purposefully applying less effort for the same reward. But I am saying that if you are genuinely doing the best you can, that IS enough.
Dr. Kristin Neff says, “Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?”
EP 30: BEHIND THE BRAND: PUTTING YOUR FACE FRONT AND CENTER
five ways perfectionism creeps into our minds
So I want to dig into five ways the perfectionist mindset creeps into our minds and how we can take those thoughts and turn them into self-compassion practices.
Perfectionism says do more and do it better… but self-compassion says that if you know you are doing your best with the skills and tools you have in front of you right now, that is enough.
This means if you have to take pictures with dirty hair and your phone held up by duck tape against a wall, then so be it. You are doing the best you can right at this moment.
Perfectionism says everyone has to like you … but self-compassion says you have to like yourself.
Guys, if we don’t know and love ourselves for who we are – how can you expect anyone else – not everyone else – to like you. Stay in your lane to live life with purpose, and you won’t give a rat’s tail who doesn’t like you. You’ll be too focused on serving those who do.
Perfectionism says you can’t mess up … but self-compassion says it’s ok if and when you mess up.
Mistakes are inevitable anytime you are growing. So be mindful and observe the error you made. Don’t be judgemental about it but find the lesson that came from it and move on. Don’t sit at your pity party too long. Get up and make more mistakes because that means you are trying and doing the best you can at this moment… per #1. And if you need to turn to a trusted friend or business partner to talk it out and know you are not alone.
Perfectionism says imperfect is bad … but self-compassion says imperfect is the only option.
This one is pretty simple… not ONE person reading, watching, or listening to your content is perfect. This means they will not relate to anyone who says they are. How awesome of a feeling is that! So show up as your imperfect, authentic self to create deeper connections with your customers. It’s your only sustainable option for growth. One tip is to leave room for imperfection. By acknowledging that you are not perfect, you won’t set yourself up for a losing battle.
Perfectionism says your worth depends on your success … but self-compassion says your worth’s been established regardless of your success.
This one ruffles my feathers because I’ve seen this too often, especially in the direct sales space that you only earn your worth and relevance by hitting title and sales goals. The word success is so thrown around these days, but to me, success will never be tied to a money or follower goal. Success is knowing that I am living in my lane with the skills and passions that God has given me, and I am impacting people with them. A great place to build this type of muscle is to write in your journal every time you feel grateful and blessed to help someone. Focus on those events that bring you the most joy.
perfectionist mindset: in closing
So now maybe you’ve recognized a few more ways you’ve been allowing a perfectionist mindset to control your actions. I’m guilty of this all the time. Some of those scenarios mentioned are mine from this week.
Just know when you decide to stop chasing perfect, you will be vulnerable. But this is a good thing. Because you are living out who your real self is, and you are imperfect. Which means you will make mistakes. But look at those mistakes as opportunities for growth—a chance to go back to the drawing board and create something better.
Make a conscious effort to invest in more self-compassion and more self-care. When you take the time to pause and reflect, you will enjoy your experiences and accomplishments that much more. And you will be staying in your lane as you live a life with purpose.
Whenever you’re ready, here are 3 ways I can help you:
- Build a Continuous Flow of New Clients Using This Simple Profit Pipeline™ – HERE!
- Turn Your Chaos Into Clarity in Just 90 Minutes with this One Call – HERE!
- Obtain the Support System You Need Inside Our Coaching Group – HERE!
